Smoker Needs a Babysitter AKA The Weirdest Marine Ever
by reader713
Summary: When he sees Law hide behind the bar, Kidd gets interested. What he doesn't expect is for a marine to enter carrying with him one of the weirdest individuals ever. What kind of marine wants to be King of the Pirates? Set in a universe where Sabo didn't die and he, Luffy, Ace and the Strawhats are marines. Smoker is in town and needs a babysitter for Luffy. Good luck Law! REVIEW!


Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.

Author's Note: This is a oneshot based in the universe of a story where Ace and Luffy are sent a babysitter (Cadet Smoker) who saves Sabo. Later the trio are assigned to serve under Smoker when Garp forces them to join the Marines (despite them being MAJOR pirate fanboys). To Smoker's great despair Luffy goes about recruiting people to join the Marines and they keep being assigned to serve under him (Smoker) to keep all the troublemakers in one place. All that Smoker gets in return is a lot of promotions and troublesome recruits.

Crew of the 'Thousand Sunny': Smoker, Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Strawhat Piartes (Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, Franky, Robin, Brooke, Usopp), Tashigi and Coby

Note for this story: Luffy is still the same and determined to become King of the Pirates (and tends to announce his dream despite being a Marine Captain). Ace one time ran off and created a pirate crew before Smoker dragged him back. Sabo is a well-known author under a penname. Luffy one time ran off with the Strawhats (Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Chopper, Franky, Robin, Brooke and Usopp) and created the Strawhat Pirates. They succeeded in getting bounties and both Zoro and Luffy were inducted into the Eleven Supernova (raising the number from 9 to 11 despite being Marines) due to having bounties over 100 million berries.

Naturally, when one of the Nine Supernova (though there had been rumors of there being a tenth and eleventh Supernova but nothing concrete) entered a bar the entire room fell silent. Since it was Trafalgar Law, who had the second highest bounty of the group the silence was instantaneous, and grabbed the attention of Eustass Kidd who had been enjoying a drink with his first mate Killer (both of them were also Supernovas).

Law however was not acting like himself. He slunk inside, glanced around the bar with an expression of forced calm and made his way over to the bar…and then promptly ducked behind it.

The silence turned rather awkward and then the door slammed open.

"LAW!" the newcomer was obviously a Marine (and one who clearly was either insane, had guts or was strong enough to not care that he had just entered a bar that was popular among pirate crews) "I know you're here! You can't hide!" the gray haired male scowled, pulling along what looked like leashes and a tied up teenager wearing a strawhat "if you don't come out right now I'll arrest you and your crew and burn your ship!" he threatened "I'll force you to join the Marines! Don't think I won't."

Law immediately popped up, a sardonic smile on his face "Vice-Admiral…how can I help you?" he drawled.

The male twitched and tossed the trussed up male at Law's feet "babysitting, I leave him in your care. We'll be departing in four days. Watch him for at least six hours and your crew won't be press-ganged into the Marines."

"…did you forget that I'm a pirate?" Law asked dryly.

The teenager flung himself at Law "LAW! JOIN MY CREW!"

Kidd snorted into his drink, enjoying the show.

"Luffy, I am a pirate…you are a Marine…we are enemies" Law said seriously.

The teen promptly burst into tears and cried loudly for five minutes before he abruptly cheered up "I'll become a pirate then!" he announced eagerly "I will be KING OF THE PIRATES!" the gray-haired male promptly hit him "ow! Smoker!" he protested.

"Luffy, you are a Captain of the MARINES!" he yelled "if you run off to become a pirate again and get a wanted poster AGAIN I will drown you myself! Bad enough that Ace ran off and formed the Spade Pirates…getting a bounty of over 100 million berries is not something to be proud of!" he began to mutter under his breath, clearly annoyed.

Law, the teenager still hugging him fiercely looked blankly at 'Smoker' "no"

"I'll put you on the short-list to become a Shichibukai" was immediately offered.

"Join my crew!" Luffy repeated.

"Luffy, I am the captain of a pirate crew…I am not going to become a Marine."

"But Laaaaw!" he whined "I want you to be my doctor!"

"I leave him in your care!" Smoker announced almost cheerfully "remember, keep him for six hours."

"Why is no one else available?" Law asked tightly, but he seemed used to being restrained in such a manner.

"Sanji and Zoro left immediately, I think they're going to go fight again" Luffy sounded confused "they always do 'special fights' when we get to an island. They're always limping afterwards. Nami is probably getting money. Ace wants to see if Whitebeard's around…you know, because he's a huge fan of Marco…"

"They escaped" Smoker said dangerously, holding up the leashes that had been trailing after him. His tone hinted at bad things happening to them.

"Hohoho!" a voice laughed outside "can I see your panties?"

"PERVERT!" and then another shriek "GHOST!"

Instantly exhibiting killing intent Smoker raced outside "HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE THE HONOR OF THE MARINES!" he bellowed.

"Brooke!" Luffy was restrained by a hand grabbing the back of his shirt; though his hands did continue out to follow Smoker, as did his head while the rest of him remained stationary.

"Let's go see Bepo" Law announced and proceeded to drag the Marine from the bar "I'm sure he misses you."

"Bepo's here? Yay! I want him to join my crew!" Luffy yelled "you're so cool Law! You're almost as cool a big brother as Sabo-"

"-a pervert-" Law muttered.

"-and Ace!"

"A narcoleptic idiot who still believes he's heterosexual despite having wet dreams about a man" Law muttered.

"Hey!" Luffy came to a halt and proceeded to try to look over his shoulder (his neck lengthening so that it was possible) "is Eustass Kidd here?"

"Luffy, you're a Marine, you can't go asking for autographs."

"I'm not going to" he pouted "but Nami was buying these books about you and Kidd."

Law had a strange expression on his face "…history books?"

"Naw, one of the titles was…um…" he frowned and then brightened "it was in that 'Romance on the High Seas – Yaoi Edition' series! I think it was called 'Lust of Kidd for Heart'!"

The entire bar collapsed as Law sliced through the walls.

"I think Sabo wrote it!" Luffy added eagerly "Nami asked him to sign…Law?" he looked around wildly but Law was gone "where did he go? I wanted to see Be-…MEAT!" he ran off in the direction of the food stalls.

At their table, Killer release Kidd, allowing him to clamber out from beneath their table (which is where he'd pulled his captain before ducking down himself the moment the kid mentioned 'book'.

"Wow, Law has weird friends" Kidd said dryly before lowering his voice to speak to Killer "what books?"

"There have been some…romance novels published featuring you and Law as the protagonists."

"Oh, what's wrong with that?"

"They're homosexual erotica"

Kidd's expression was still that of confusion.

"Gay porn"

Now it was realization turning to disgust.

"Don't worry, Law's the uke."

"Oh, in that case" Kidd now looked interested "can I get a copy?"

The next time they met, Kidd immediately hit on Law and barely managed to keep his head. Killer remained out of it and cheered on his captain with the rest of the Kidd Pirates from the sidelines. Law succeeded in administering a thorough ass-kicking but was then distracted when he sighted a familiar pirate flag (atop what was actually a Marine ship, but Kidd didn't know that).

Kidd, later stalking Law, did see Law's encounter with the famous Sabo, and immediately tracked him down to request that he sign Kidd's new collection.

He found that he got along well with the Marine.


End file.
